Arrested by the Fun Police

Here I was walking along the street buried in self-pity and I hear this siren. I turn around and standing in front of me are two of the most colourfully dressed and happy looking police officers I have ever seen.

Then they said: "We've been watching you and noticed that you've been indulging in feeling sorry for yourself. And what's with this grey outfit?" Struth! Have the Fun Police gone into fashion as well! Then they arrested me! Well the indignation at being arrested and by the Fun Police! I said "Surely I have every right to indulge in feeling sorry for myself!" You know what they did, they laughed at me!

Well after my court hearing; that's a whole story for another time; I was sentenced to the folllowing:

• Only being allowed to wear colourful clothing

• A daily, yes daily session in the tickling machine

• A hour a day of any sitcom or comedian that makes me laugh

I will be monitored for a year. Any slip ups and it's double the tickling session and I'll have a Fun Cop assigned to me until I lighten up.

Guess what? I slipped up!

I'm not supposed to, but do you want their number?

I didn't tell you about the off the record stuff.....